WTF Iceland?

 As you may know, Matt and I recently spent a week in Iceland.  We found some super cheap tickets via Icelandir, and when I say super cheap, I mean super cheap.  So if you want to go to Iceland (and you should, you know) keep an eye out.  This post is totally going to convince you to go there, I am sure of it.

Ok, so I'm going to start with a disclaimer.  Which is to say that I had a really good time in Iceland, I find it to be an amazing country, I can't wait to go back, and it seems like an awesome place to live.  Except for the weather, maybe, but that's how Seattle is, too, so you can't really knock it there. This blog post is written for humor, and in no way intends to mock or belittle the people and culture of Iceland.  Because Iceland is pretty damn sweet.  That's my disclaimer.

Now to my point.  Iceland is, in some ways, a little bit weird.  I probably found it so for two reasons:
1. It's so similar to home (especially compared to other places I've travelled) that when things were not like they are at home, it really caught me off guard.  This was mostly true for the first couple days.  Eventually I got into the swing of things and I found it much less strange and much more awesome.
2. Iceland has a lot of public art.

Here are some things we encountered on our trip that made us say "WTF, Iceland?"

Apparently Icelanders only sleep in twin beds.  When you ask for a room with a queen bed, they just push two twin beds together.  This leads to things like crevasses opening up in the middle of the night.  Snuggling in Iceland is perilous.

Actually, our entire hotel room felt a little bit ominous.  Considering this was the advice we were greeted with on walking in:

And we had this... comforting (?) picture to watch us sleep:

Icelandic food can be adventurous, too.  The national dish is fermented shark.  The story goes that in the viking days, the shark was buried next to the outhouse, and everyone peed on it until it was sufficiently fermented.  Then it was dug up and served as a delicacy.  A chef we met, though, assured us that was a slanderous rumor.  Actually, the shark naturally has so much ammonia retained in its liver that it must be buried for several months to allow the ammonia to leach out.  That's why it smells like pee, and that's how it ferments itself.

Either way, we had to try it.

Just a taste.

Highly recommended!

Much more wholesomely flavorful was the Icelandic bread.  Holy cow, delicious.  And put some Icelandic butter on it (so yellow it looks like a sticky-note in this picture) and you're in bread and butter heaven.  Of course, you must eat quickly.  Matt and I had each had a piece out of this basket, when the waitress came and took it away.  No, not because our food was coming.  We never figured out why.  Maybe we were greedy to expect to eat the whole basket.  WTF, Iceland?

 Ok, so we all know that Iceland was settled by Vikings.  And Vikings are not known to be the most diplomatic of folk.  They held their seat of government at Þingvellir (pronounced "Thingvellir"), on a big rock next to this awesome waterfall, overlooking a gorgeous river valley.

 
Naturally, it was the perfect place to mete out justice.  By throwing people into the river, of course.

 
Now, such things are common in most country's histories, I think.  But then we went to the visitor center, and projected on one wall was a silent video of fish swimming by.  No explanation, just fish.

 Perhaps it was to give us an idea of what it felt like to be executed in the river?  A close-up view of what these poor drowned ladies might have seen?  Maybe this is just an Icelandic aquarium?  It was sure raining hard enough that we thought we might drown.  (I'll admit we sat and watched the fish for a good half hour before going back outside.  Because of the rain.  I'll get to the weather later.)

However ruthless the Vikings may have been, modern Iceland has a very highly educated population, with a strong emphasis on art, culture, and history.  Reykjavik is a city with a museum on every corner  And no subject went untouched.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with the Phallological Museum.  The only museum in the world with a complete collection of specimens of the male genitalia from every mammal in the entire country.  Yes, every mammal.

Now that's worth some national pride.

The museum even included such novelties as this goat, who has a horn shaped like a penis.  A truly marvelous creature.

 

 I guess I need to remember that in America, we have a rather puritanical view of things.  Because I'll admit that I was a little bit beside myself to encounter this lovely piece of art in the bus transfer station.  There may have been giggling.

Speaking of public art:

Oh, and if you want to see a knifemaker's workshop, I think I know where to find one.

But the biggest WTF of all had nothing to do with the art, nor the culture, nor the food.  It had everything to do with climate change.  According to our tour guide, the average temperature in Iceland has risen by three degrees centigrade in the last ten years.  And where the winters used to be cold and clear, with excellent opportunity to see the Aurora Borealis, they're starting to look more and more like this:

Oh yes, I'm sure Iceland is a beautiful country.  When you can see it.

But then, of course. As we were on our way to the airport to return home:

WTF, Iceland?

Oh well.  Guess it just means we'll have to go back and try again.